


Regrets and Lack of Second Thoughts

by Diary



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Bechdel Test Fail, Bottle Episode Fic, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Conversations, Established Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden, Established Relationship, Family, Love, M/M, Male Friendship, POV Bisexual Character, POV Male Character, POV Robert Sugden, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 08:03:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7968787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don’t ever do me like you did Chrissie.” Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets and Lack of Second Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Emmerdale.

Based on Aaron’s silence and the expression of trying to steel himself for something, Robert supposes this is one of those rare instances where it’s good Liv is arguing with one of the deliverers down in the pub.

“Hey.” Setting down the furniture polish, he asks, “Not having second thoughts, are you?”

He’s been having outright regrets, but with dreaded certainty, he knows, if Aaron is, it’s in an entirely different vein.

When Aaron suggested finding a place together, he should have blurted out the yes brewing inside him and started making plans right away, but through the warm haze of happiness and buzzing joy, he’d thought of Liv, Ryan, and what was best for the former and how to deal with the latter. If it were just him and Aaron and the discomforting idea they might not be ready just yet became unavoidably concrete, they’d both come out okay. He knows he could make sure of it.

Liv, though, is still adjusting to life with Aaron and only occasionally remembers she no longer hates Robert himself. On top of being fourteen and cleverer than some adults he could name, she has legitimate reasons to be angry, bitter, and lonely, and however she ends up when grown, he can’t bear the thought of her going the way of Aaron or, worse, him.

“I meant what I said earlier, about not being the type to sit at home wondering,” Aaron quietly tells him. “All I want is you, Robert, but if it isn’t the same, then, I promise you, I can handle it. I have Liv and all the others, and for my little sister’s sake, I will do what I need to do to deal with it the right way. You don’t have to worry. Just be honest about this. Don’t ever do me like you did Chrissie.”

“I only want to be with you, too,” he quickly promises. Moving closer, he says, “I swear, I meant what I said about wanting to be a proper little family with you and Liv.”

Reaching over, he touches Aaron’s shoulder. “For everything else, the one thing that wasn’t her fault was: Chrissie didn’t know me. I never let her, and who she loved was a lie. And I’m starting to wonder if I ever really knew her. Maybe we both loved someone not real, and that’s why it didn’t work. But you know me, Aaron, and I know you.”

“There were times you knew me better than I knew myself,” he adds. “We’ve seen each other at our absolute worst, and I’ve seen you at your best. Let me try to be my best and show it to you.”

“You already have,” Aaron says.

Surprised warmth fills him at the clear sincerity in the words.

Moving closer, Aaron says, “No more lies. And- neither of us can be at our best all the time. I know that. Just, if it turns out this really isn’t something you want to sign up for-”

“Aaron-”

Giving him a warning look, Aaron keeps going, “I won’t hold it against you, as long as you tell me before you do anything with anyone and you don’t lay all the blame on me. Don’t make me regret loving you, Robert.”

Everything inside him softens and warms up. It’s not entirely an ‘I love you’, but it’s so close, and it’s so clear Aaron still does.

“I won’t. I love you, too.”

The distance between them is closed, and through the kisses, Aaron gasps out, “I’m not having second thoughts.”

“Good,” he breathes out. “Do you reckon we have enough time-”

Downstairs is filled with Liv and someone else yelling.

Groaning and leaning his forehead against Robert’s, Aaron says, “That would be a no.”

“Right,” he sighs. Stealing another kiss, he moves away. “Go deal with her, and I’ll finish up here.”

Giving him a slight smile and a nudge on the shoulder, Aaron leaves.

Closing his eyes, Robert lets the desperate thoughts, _I swear, I’ll try to make up for all the hurt I caused him until my last day, just please, don’t let him want anyone else, don’t let him decide I’m not worth it, I don’t think **I’m** strong enough that I could ever be okay if that happened_ , have their say.

Then, he banishes them away with a breath, starts cleaning the emptied drawers, and imagines eventually spending a proper day out with Liv, just the two of them, doing something and having it end with him tired and her genuinely smiling, of falling asleep with his arms around Aaron every night, of when he and Aaron finally get some proper time all to themselves and spend almost all of it in bed, and of so many other great things.


End file.
